Motto Ideas

Ok, so I need to organize a new way of doing things, complete with an actual business name and some type of slogan. I've noticed that all of the content sites have a short slogan that is memorable and descriptive. I'm starting with slogan ideas first before I start thinking about a business name. Here's what a have so far:

Business X- When You Don't Want Your Website to Suck

Incompetent? Insufferable? I'll Write For You Anyway

Need Content? I Need Cash. Win-Win!

Content That Won't Get You Arrested

If You Need Content, I'll Put Up With You

Turning Your Site's Crap Into Gold

I just can't choose from among them. And don't even get me started on the logos...

Coming Back and Letting Go

I got back from out annual trek to Disney World a few days ago. It's an easy vacation that's appropriate for everyone, so we go. I hate it, but we go. So, I guess I mean it's appropriate to everyone but me, so we go. Personally, I hate crowds, I want to go up to people in tube tops and ask them why, and occasionally I get into a fight with people flashing cameras in my face, but I go. Where do you even get tube tops? I didn't even know they still sold them, but apparently there is a big supply of tube tops out there that are highly sought after by people who start getting dressed and then think, eh, screw it, I'll just do this.

So anyway, I actually went away for over a week and DID NOT TAKE A COMPUTER. That's the first time in at least seven years that I've done that. I went to a lot of trouble to notify every possible person who needed to know that I would be gone, got someone to take care of some of the things that couldn't wait and took care of everything else in advance. Over a week with no computer, no writing and no business. It gave me perspective, just as I'd hoped.

It's time to let go of some things in order to regroup and re-engage. I've been holding onto anonymity and staying in the shadows of the projects I do out of fear that I suck. I've been taking on work from people who have nice, solid content businesses and have been happy doing it. Meanwhile, my writing site doesn't even have my name on it. It's time to suck it up and create a real website that has an actual business name on it. It's time to let go of invisibility and stop relying on work that other people have the guts to go out and get. I need to go out there and get it myself.

It's time to let go of some of the anger that I have toward a certain party who needs an ass kicking. Oh, I still intend to kick his ass, but I can plan for that and work toward that without holding onto the anger. I'm coming for you, sweetie. Don't forget it.

It's time to let go of some of the crap that I do to stay out of the limelight and away from notice. I think I've stayed overweight for a long time just to have an excuse not to participate in things and to be invisible. I'm letting go of it, letting go of carbs and comfort foods. I've lost 22 pounds and there are still more to let go of.

I think letting go of old things is just as important a step as embracing new things, or maybe it's the same thing. Letting go of invisibility and complacence is embracing a new perspective. Maybe by letting go of that comfortable complacency I'll actually reach out for something better and start feeling like I don't suck as badly as I've always suspected. Maybe? Maybe.

I'd like to challenge anyone reading this (if anyone actually does) to find something they're complacent about and let go of that comfort zone. Stomp it down and try to grab something better. Even if it's just a tube top- let go of it and put on an actual shirt today.

Web Writing and Business Ethics

Apparently, a lot of people consider it fine to have no ethics and to consider anything that makes them money to be ok simply because it makes them money. I'm hearing this sentiment a lot more lately, and it's kind of disturbing. I'm actually doing pretty well now in PR, Web writing and my niche sites. But, I don't consider bending my ethics as a way to get there. I don't care how fashionable it is to leave ethics behind, I never will.

I'm doing a major business revamp at the end of this month (which I'll get into soon), but I'm not leaving my standards behind. Here's a few things that stick in my mind:

If you ghostwrite, don't, as Wil Wheaton says, be a dick. Don't broadcast that you've ghostwritten someone's work if they haven't given you permission to do so. I see that sometimes and I just find it disturbing. If you sell the rights, then you sell the rights. No one needs to be outed as having outsourced the work that they put their names on.

Don't write people's schoolwork. I don't care how much it pays- don't do it. Seriously. I keep hearing Web writers go on about how convenient it is to write papers for college students through one of those "academic papers" websites. It's unethical, it's sleazy, don't do it.

I won't write about scams. I don't care what you want to pay, I don't care how super special you think your scam is (believe me, some of these people are hyperdelusional), I'm not going to help anyone scam anyone else. Your "diet supplements" and "male enhancements" are crap, and no one wants to sell your timeshares or seminars. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Pay people that you outsource to. For God's sake, don't ever make a writer beg for their pay. I've outsourced twice and likely won't ever do it again, but I paid on time and paid extra to offset the PayPal fees. Every week I hear about Web writers who have outsourced and then can't or won't pay the writer. If you do that, you suck. There's no way around it.

Oh, and if your business is run in an unethical manner and may have happened to fold today, you might regret having told me that "anyone off the street could do your job" when my job was highly skilled, hyper-tense technical writing. You might wonder why your business folded. It folded because you are idiots. You didn't recognize the few talented people that you had and instead rewarded very unintelligent people with over-paid positions that did nothing for the company. I'm glad that I bailed, and I'm glad that you're gone.

And lastly, check out this drumming:



Seriously. The hotness of Sting often obscures the talent of the other two, but that drumming is phenomenal.

Avoiding Work

When there's a lot of work piling up, pretty much anything else seems super entertaining.

That's My Name There

The first time I ever had a byline was in the local newspaper, The Huntsville Times. It's actually a fairly prestigious paper in the Southeast, and I wrote an entire blurb of my own in order to get that byline. I was a teenager doing an internship at the newspaper, and I was unsure whether I was even going to get a byline for the ridiculous thing that I did. It was the 90's and I wore rayon all the time because it flowed and I thought it made me look thinner. After spending days in the library and the courthouse with various reporters, I put on a pair of black rayon pants with HUGE white polka dots and a blue rayon shirt that didn't match but that flowed. I looked like a low-rent clown with acne and big hair.

So, instead of going to the courthouse to go through records, I was told that I was going to a meet-and-greet with the prince of Belgium. No lie. The prince was super hot and single and gave a short speech, after which he shook my hand. I then shook the hand of the Belgian ambassador of the United States and had zero answer when he asked me who I was. But, I had furiously taken notes throughout the whole affair and was able to put together an entire article. The result was a weird clown with her first actual byline.

Since then I have had hundreds of newspaper articles published, most with bylines. I even had columns in two different papers, complete with my gross picture, big hair and all. It ceased to be a big deal. I stopped caring much whether my name was on something. My happiness was seeing what I had done and knowing that it was awesome.

Enter Web writing. I hate having my name on anything. The only sites that I have my name on are ones that expressly require that your actual name has to be on the articles. I hate that and wish I never had to use my actual name on anything. That's been my reality for the last three or four years, ducking bylines and trying to enjoy a few things that I've done without anyone actually reading it or knowing that I did it.

Again, that is changing. I'm writing a print book and got my first check from the publisher this week. It's an actual payment from an actual publisher, and it is changing a lot of things for me. Every time I send something in to my editor I expect her to send it back with SCREAMING ALL CAPS!!!!! telling me how much it sucks. Apparently, it doesn't. It's tough, it's hard work and I've thought seriously about throwing in the towel, but I really, really want to see my name on a print book. The contract is terrible and the pay is low, but that will be my name right there when people pick up the book. If it sucks, they will know who sucks. I will not hide and I will not pretend that it was all just some crap that I threw together and didn't put any effort into. I tried at something. I put myself into it and it's going to be out there. With my name. For anyone to see.

It's scary.

No. I Am Not on Facebook.

Am I on Facebook? No, I am not. Aren't I on Facebook? I aren't. Have I signed up for Facebook yet? No. Do I have Facebook? I don't think so. I can be found through Facebook, right? Not really.

These are actual questions that I have been asked in the past month. I am not on Facebook, just in case there is any doubt. I suppose I do "have" Facebook, since it's there and it's available if you want it, but I don't.

But how, you may ask, can I be found on Facebook? The answer is pretty simple- I can't.

Twitter lured me in. Wil Wheaton and William Shatner are there. What can you do when you face those odds? You just have to get sucked in and hope your screaming soul isn't viciously and painfully eaten. But Facebook? I will prevail. I don't care how many times I am asked. I don't care what kind of names I am called. I don't mind being ostracized and having to move to my own island where the non-Facebook people have to go to live in shame.

I can't come up with any more excuses though, when one of the real excuses is just pathetic. I don't like pictures of myself and I don't want to make excuses about why there are no pictures. Yes, it's true that I hate trends that are so big that people DEMAND that you join in on them. Yes, there is a point at which something is so big and pervasive that not belonging just feels right. And yes, I do worry about privacy and my potty mouth being found by people who already disapprove of me because my hair is weird and I'm overweight.

But mostly, I don't give a rat's *ss. I don't want to talk to anyone I went to high school with (with two exceptions, and they are awesome). I don't care about what people I went to elementary school with are doing. People I dated long ago can suck it. Anyone else that I've come into contact with that needs to talk to me can pick up a phone.

But, you have to have Facebook to promote your work. Really? So, when people want to read some informational article or bad vampire novel they go to Facebook to find it? They search through Facebook for writing blogs, how-to articles and rude articles about celebrities? I don't think they do.

If the site is fun, then great. Some people report playing games there, but there are games available elsewhere. Mostly what I hear is about people posting their moods and "status." I don't want anyone knowing either one. I don't know that I even know either one.

What You Mean to Write When You Write and What You Actually Write

Anytime I try to take on some fiction endeavor, such as my new, cheesy vampire novel that will test the waters of the many online publishers that I write about, the words tend to come off just a little different than they were supposed to. That's been going on with my fiction for longer than I'll admit to, and I'm hoping that it isn't just me.

Here's what I want to say:

Cheesy Vampire is interesting, and is so captivating that Character is drawn into the world of cheesy, small-town vampires.

What the words actually convey:

Cheesy Vampire walks around, talks a little and buys toast.

What I want to say:

Cheesy Vampire is super dangerous and could kick you through a brick wall just for asking him whether he's on Facebook.

What the words actually convey:

Cheesy Vampire says a few menacing things and continues walking around.

What I want to say:

Cheesy Vampire and Assorted Characters are worthy of being published by an online publisher so that I can see how well that does and decide whether it's worth the time to create more cheesy work to make some money to buy a super-rad backyard pond.

What the words actually convey:

Holy crap, another vampire novel. This one isn't Twilight-like. It must be destroyed. Get the flamethrower. The one on the wall! Now! Now!

Foiled yet again.