So, my spouse actually got a job this week. He's been out of work for almost two years because his industry has pretty much died in this country. Thanks, China! Anyway, with him soon to be employed, that means that I don't have to write full time anymore, though pretty close to full time. The first thought in my head was, holy crap, I get to write some fiction.
I have been writing a lot about online publishers for Suite101, and every time I write one I wish I had something completed that I can submit for consideration. I have a half-fleshed-out vampire story in mind for an online publisher, a weird past-life story hopefully for print and about a dozen sci-fi stories bouncing around my head. Most of them are finished in my head, but the time to actually get them down has eluded me so far.
Is it possible that now I will be able to finish one of them outside the realm of my cloudy head? I can't even dare to get excited about it. Getting time to write the fiction you want to write is like slipping into a big bathtub that is just the right temperature. It's feels effortless and sensual. It lets you take all of those weird things that wander around your head and tell them that they are real and interesting. They get to exist in the real world instead of being stuck inside you in between the worry about website design and the worry about the landscaping. It lets them free to wander in the actual world, free to be rejected or accepted by the world at large.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Demand Media Isn't Profitable. No Biggie.
There is wave of panic rolling across the freelance Web writing world right now because of the news that Demand Media isn't actually profitable. Multiple stories have come out touting the company's lack of profits, as announced during the company's IPO, as a sign that they will fail any day and that the entire business model is obviously an unprofitable one. Here's why they're wrong.
Profits Often Happen Years Down the Road
It's not at all unusual for a company to make no profits in its first few years, or even longer. Amazon showed no profit for its first 10 years. Now? Not so much. During the last quarter, its profits were $207 million. NetFlix, now a giant in the movie rental industry, showed no profits for its first six years- a year after it's IPO. What do they have in common? They're both large, online companies that grew quickly and expanded into new areas of their industries. Sound familiar?
They Don't Actually Need Profits Right Now
If this was a mom-and-pop operation, they would need profits immediately to stay in business. But it isn't mom and pop running Demand- it's a large company with scores of investors who have pumped hundreds of millions into the business. Even if they never make a dime, they have enough to stay in business for at least the next 10 years and even longer if the IPO generates the $125 million they're seeking.
It's Losses Are Shrinking
The gap between what they make and what they need to make isn't growing- it's rapidly shrinking. According to Daily Finance, during the first half of 2009, Demand lost $13.9 million. During the first half of 2010, it lost $6.05 million. At this rate, they could be profitable within a year.
So, are Demand Media and I best friends? No. They're dead useful, but they definitely have issues, as anyone who has ever worked for them knows. But, the sky is not falling. It remains in place just in case you need it.
Profits Often Happen Years Down the Road
It's not at all unusual for a company to make no profits in its first few years, or even longer. Amazon showed no profit for its first 10 years. Now? Not so much. During the last quarter, its profits were $207 million. NetFlix, now a giant in the movie rental industry, showed no profits for its first six years- a year after it's IPO. What do they have in common? They're both large, online companies that grew quickly and expanded into new areas of their industries. Sound familiar?
They Don't Actually Need Profits Right Now
If this was a mom-and-pop operation, they would need profits immediately to stay in business. But it isn't mom and pop running Demand- it's a large company with scores of investors who have pumped hundreds of millions into the business. Even if they never make a dime, they have enough to stay in business for at least the next 10 years and even longer if the IPO generates the $125 million they're seeking.
It's Losses Are Shrinking
The gap between what they make and what they need to make isn't growing- it's rapidly shrinking. According to Daily Finance, during the first half of 2009, Demand lost $13.9 million. During the first half of 2010, it lost $6.05 million. At this rate, they could be profitable within a year.
So, are Demand Media and I best friends? No. They're dead useful, but they definitely have issues, as anyone who has ever worked for them knows. But, the sky is not falling. It remains in place just in case you need it.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Still Alive
I think that was the longest break I've taken from blogging since I started, but my schedule has been so difficult that no other option was possible. Last week, I wrote more than 32,000 words, including two mid-sized projects and most of the last third of a book that is now (mostly) completed. Final edits will be coming back soon, but for the most part I never have to look at the thing again.
I've back on the 'ole freelancing train now, taking care of my PR work and looking at ads in an attempt to avoid the content mill work that pays most of the bills right now. Here's basically what freelance writing ads have to offer:
Generic Ads: We need people to write stuff! We need stuff written, and we need millions of people to write that stuff! If you know what stuff is and you can make words, you can write our stuff. We may or may not pay, we'll tell you after we find out after you sign up and fill out five contact information forms.
Laundry List Ads: We need everything in the world: Literally- whatever it is, we need it. We will sit on our backsides while you will run out business with little direction, writing everything and then marketing it through 225 different social bookmarking and networking sites. You must have a PhD. in douchebaggery and at least 17 years of experience. We don't pay much, but you will get a Zen satisfaction from working for us. Zen!
One Guy in a Million Ads: We need one person to write about purple squash that grow on one specific bank of the Amazon. If you have five years of experience in writing about that squash (the blue ones from the same bank don't count), feel free to send in at least 10 clips that are exclusively about that type of squash. There will be four levels of testing to determine your squash knowledge. Pay is $12 an hour.
Half-Assed Ads: We think we need something written, or maybe we need something else. We're not sure yet. We think that once we get started, maybe in a few weeks, there will likely be money coming in. This is an amazing opportunity! You can get in on the ground floor of whatever this turns out to be! We don't have any money, but if you create the content for our websites, then we will and we might pay you. Imagine the exposure!
In the meantime, I found this:
I've back on the 'ole freelancing train now, taking care of my PR work and looking at ads in an attempt to avoid the content mill work that pays most of the bills right now. Here's basically what freelance writing ads have to offer:
Generic Ads: We need people to write stuff! We need stuff written, and we need millions of people to write that stuff! If you know what stuff is and you can make words, you can write our stuff. We may or may not pay, we'll tell you after we find out after you sign up and fill out five contact information forms.
Laundry List Ads: We need everything in the world: Literally- whatever it is, we need it. We will sit on our backsides while you will run out business with little direction, writing everything and then marketing it through 225 different social bookmarking and networking sites. You must have a PhD. in douchebaggery and at least 17 years of experience. We don't pay much, but you will get a Zen satisfaction from working for us. Zen!
One Guy in a Million Ads: We need one person to write about purple squash that grow on one specific bank of the Amazon. If you have five years of experience in writing about that squash (the blue ones from the same bank don't count), feel free to send in at least 10 clips that are exclusively about that type of squash. There will be four levels of testing to determine your squash knowledge. Pay is $12 an hour.
Half-Assed Ads: We think we need something written, or maybe we need something else. We're not sure yet. We think that once we get started, maybe in a few weeks, there will likely be money coming in. This is an amazing opportunity! You can get in on the ground floor of whatever this turns out to be! We don't have any money, but if you create the content for our websites, then we will and we might pay you. Imagine the exposure!
In the meantime, I found this:
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Content Hell
Content writing is a temptation that is hard to fight sometimes. It's pretty simple to do once you get the hang of it, but the pay is pretty average. If I want a kick-ass pond in the backyard and some days off every month, content writing needs to go. Unfortunately, I do have some contracts and I do get bogged down in writing content for content sites out of simple laziness. Normally, this means a boring week that pays ok and little more. This week sucked. It sucked the big one.
When it all began, I was pretty happy with doing some marketing this week, throwing together a PR document and doing some content writing when time allowed because it's easy and people pay me. Here's how I started the week:
Then, one of the content sites that I occasionally writer for decided to lay off more than 4,000 writers and may not pay me a thing for the work that I've done for them. That was less fun.
I got bored one night and thought I'd write a few articles for a cheapie content site that is always a quick buck. A short article about affiliate marketing was sent back as "good, but not funny." It was an article about affiliate marketing. Seriously. It was supposed to be funny? Why??
Then, another content company sent an article back because they "forgot to add" that their new articles are to be written in a specific style that they never put into their style guide. I have to redo it after emailing some obscure person to get the new style guide that is so important that they never gave it to us.
THEN, another content company gave me new, more complicated guidelines that tripled the amount of time that their articles take without raising my rates by a penny. This was already my lowest-paying client, and now their articles pay about a fifth of my normal billing rate. No apologies from them and no acknowledgment of the extended time and expense.
Some weeks are good, some weeks make you want to swing a big fat tuna at the idiots who waste your time with incompetence. I can run a content company far better than most of these people because I have this crazy thing called common sense. I think I'm almost done with writing anything at all for content mills. They've been getting far to much from me for far too long.
When it all began, I was pretty happy with doing some marketing this week, throwing together a PR document and doing some content writing when time allowed because it's easy and people pay me. Here's how I started the week:
Then, one of the content sites that I occasionally writer for decided to lay off more than 4,000 writers and may not pay me a thing for the work that I've done for them. That was less fun.
I got bored one night and thought I'd write a few articles for a cheapie content site that is always a quick buck. A short article about affiliate marketing was sent back as "good, but not funny." It was an article about affiliate marketing. Seriously. It was supposed to be funny? Why??
Then, another content company sent an article back because they "forgot to add" that their new articles are to be written in a specific style that they never put into their style guide. I have to redo it after emailing some obscure person to get the new style guide that is so important that they never gave it to us.
THEN, another content company gave me new, more complicated guidelines that tripled the amount of time that their articles take without raising my rates by a penny. This was already my lowest-paying client, and now their articles pay about a fifth of my normal billing rate. No apologies from them and no acknowledgment of the extended time and expense.
Some weeks are good, some weeks make you want to swing a big fat tuna at the idiots who waste your time with incompetence. I can run a content company far better than most of these people because I have this crazy thing called common sense. I think I'm almost done with writing anything at all for content mills. They've been getting far to much from me for far too long.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Cars Actually Need Oil - Oil Change Giveaway
Ok, so I’ve mentioned here a few times that I write a lot. It’s my job, my hobby and all that I care to do most of the time. So, it might not come as a surprise that sometimes other things get put off or forgotten.
So, I got asked if I wanted to participate in a giveaway for Shell Lubricant and MotorOilMatters.org through MyBlogSpark. I was thinking, um, oil? I guess cars need oil. Don’t they? Since I couldn’t remember the last time my oil had been changed, it occurred to me that it’s probably been a little while since I did any of that. I ran out to check the little sticker that oil changing places give you, and yeah, it had been awhile. It had been 11,000 miles. Oops.
So, I was sent a gift card and the ancient oil in my car, if any was even left in there, was changed. I *think* that may have been what the “check engine” light was about that was on for so long.
So, any other freelancers (or anyone else) who may not have made car maintenance a priority, I’m giving away one $35 gift card to Jiffy Lube. That should be enough for an oil change. Here’s a store locator if you aren’t sure if there’s one near you. According to them, right now the average age of cars is older than it’s ever been. My car is certainly getting up there in years, so I probably should have been thinking about stuff like that before I got that email. But, I always think of “check engine” lights as being kind of like UFOs- you don’t know why they’re there and they might just disappear at any time. That probably isn’t the best idea.
If you want the gift card, leave a comment about what weird ideas you’ve had about cars. The weirder the idea, the more you probably need the card and an oil change.
So, I got asked if I wanted to participate in a giveaway for Shell Lubricant and MotorOilMatters.org through MyBlogSpark. I was thinking, um, oil? I guess cars need oil. Don’t they? Since I couldn’t remember the last time my oil had been changed, it occurred to me that it’s probably been a little while since I did any of that. I ran out to check the little sticker that oil changing places give you, and yeah, it had been awhile. It had been 11,000 miles. Oops.
So, I was sent a gift card and the ancient oil in my car, if any was even left in there, was changed. I *think* that may have been what the “check engine” light was about that was on for so long.
So, any other freelancers (or anyone else) who may not have made car maintenance a priority, I’m giving away one $35 gift card to Jiffy Lube. That should be enough for an oil change. Here’s a store locator if you aren’t sure if there’s one near you. According to them, right now the average age of cars is older than it’s ever been. My car is certainly getting up there in years, so I probably should have been thinking about stuff like that before I got that email. But, I always think of “check engine” lights as being kind of like UFOs- you don’t know why they’re there and they might just disappear at any time. That probably isn’t the best idea.
If you want the gift card, leave a comment about what weird ideas you’ve had about cars. The weirder the idea, the more you probably need the card and an oil change.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Content Writing
There are a lot of types of writers, and most of them look down on the other types. There are fiction writers who write books and short stories. They have day jobs and don't believe that it's possible to actually make your entire living through writing. I want to be one of them.
There are copywriters, who make a nice living at promoting random companies and stuff. They take great vacations and rarely have to stay in nondescript Disney suites. They get the penthouse, baby. I'm getting there right now.
Then, there are content writers. The part timers bring in the money they need and don't worry about their next payments. The full timers make a decent living writing the random crap that content mills ask them to write. I've done this for years, and I want to leave. I'm actually good at PR and copywriting and another one of my efforts has lead to a magazine article about a client. I pretty much rock. I can leave if I want.
So, the fiction writers look down on content writer because they think content writing isn't very creative (it is) and it's ultimately forgettable (of course it is). Content writers look down on fiction writers because they can't make a living through their writing. Copywriters look down on all of them because they can afford to. Taking a week off is no biggie and the penthouse calls.
I'm stuck between worlds, finding content writing comforting, finding success through copywriting and wanting desperately to concentrate on my fiction. What a world.
There are copywriters, who make a nice living at promoting random companies and stuff. They take great vacations and rarely have to stay in nondescript Disney suites. They get the penthouse, baby. I'm getting there right now.
Then, there are content writers. The part timers bring in the money they need and don't worry about their next payments. The full timers make a decent living writing the random crap that content mills ask them to write. I've done this for years, and I want to leave. I'm actually good at PR and copywriting and another one of my efforts has lead to a magazine article about a client. I pretty much rock. I can leave if I want.
So, the fiction writers look down on content writer because they think content writing isn't very creative (it is) and it's ultimately forgettable (of course it is). Content writers look down on fiction writers because they can't make a living through their writing. Copywriters look down on all of them because they can afford to. Taking a week off is no biggie and the penthouse calls.
I'm stuck between worlds, finding content writing comforting, finding success through copywriting and wanting desperately to concentrate on my fiction. What a world.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Website Design
Me: Ok, so I need this website to do a lot more than it did before, and not be lavender. I'm rebranding and I want to start completely from scratch.
Engineer: Fine. What should it look like?
Me: I just want it to look like it wasn't made with one of the free templates that comes with website hosting.
Engineer: Um, ok. So what should the design be about?
Me: It should have none of those smiley people at the top that way too many sites have. I hate those people.
Engineer: Ok, so not look like a free template and no smiley people.
Me: Right. And no lavender, even if lavender is pleasant and restful. And it should have a lot of pages.
Engineer: How many pages exactly?
Me: Well, it needs a lot of pages because I have a bunch of stuff that I want to put on it.
Engineer: Yeah. Um, maybe you could look through some templates?
So, the website is taking a little longer than I had hoped. The engineer that I have on it is a consultant and kind of ran screaming from the fire that is my idea of website design. I decided to just use any template that didn't have those smiley people. I finally found one and put it up to see how it would look, and it's really pretty horrible. Then spouse wanted to tinker with it because after days of trying out this and that I pretty much have an ugly template that I hate and some vague ideas of how many pages it will actually have. This could take awhile.
Engineer: Fine. What should it look like?
Me: I just want it to look like it wasn't made with one of the free templates that comes with website hosting.
Engineer: Um, ok. So what should the design be about?
Me: It should have none of those smiley people at the top that way too many sites have. I hate those people.
Engineer: Ok, so not look like a free template and no smiley people.
Me: Right. And no lavender, even if lavender is pleasant and restful. And it should have a lot of pages.
Engineer: How many pages exactly?
Me: Well, it needs a lot of pages because I have a bunch of stuff that I want to put on it.
Engineer: Yeah. Um, maybe you could look through some templates?
So, the website is taking a little longer than I had hoped. The engineer that I have on it is a consultant and kind of ran screaming from the fire that is my idea of website design. I decided to just use any template that didn't have those smiley people. I finally found one and put it up to see how it would look, and it's really pretty horrible. Then spouse wanted to tinker with it because after days of trying out this and that I pretty much have an ugly template that I hate and some vague ideas of how many pages it will actually have. This could take awhile.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Business Name
I need to come up with a business name, and I am seriously drawing a blank. I need suggestions from the Interwebs like nobody's business. This is all I've been able to come up with:
Writing Company
Company That Writes Stuff
Stuff-Writing Company
Business That Creates Words for Stuff
I just can't come up with a thing. And I've been drinking rum for the past two hours, so that might be a factor? Anyone who has suggestions, please chime in. The business will write stuff for people who need stuff written, take care of corporate communications, write press releases and create media kits. So I should be called...?
-UPDATE-
After making lists and staring at names and even having a dream about them, it came down to Content Summoner (thanks, spouse), Content Creations (thanks, Russell), It Came From the Sky (thanks, Schrode) and the name of the used book store I used to own, Waxing Moon. I finally decided that having the word "content" in the name might limit to too much, since copyediting and PR will be a big part of the restructure. And as much as I like It Came From the Sky, it's kind of long and doesn't describe any of the actual services. I have finally decided on Waxing Moon Marketing. It's not too descriptive, but it's short and easy to remember and the word "marketing" encompasses all of the tasks that I offer.
While I REALLY want the tagline "When you don't want your website to suck," it has been pointed out to me (a few times) that if I'm going after larger businesses, that isn't the best avenue to go down. I still think that a company without a sense of humor isn't necessarily one that I want, but I am trying to change things, so I'll go with a more descriptive tagline. It's just a simple "Content, Copywriting and PR."
So, now I need a logo. I'm really going to try not to get carried away.
Writing Company
Company That Writes Stuff
Stuff-Writing Company
Business That Creates Words for Stuff
I just can't come up with a thing. And I've been drinking rum for the past two hours, so that might be a factor? Anyone who has suggestions, please chime in. The business will write stuff for people who need stuff written, take care of corporate communications, write press releases and create media kits. So I should be called...?
-UPDATE-
After making lists and staring at names and even having a dream about them, it came down to Content Summoner (thanks, spouse), Content Creations (thanks, Russell), It Came From the Sky (thanks, Schrode) and the name of the used book store I used to own, Waxing Moon. I finally decided that having the word "content" in the name might limit to too much, since copyediting and PR will be a big part of the restructure. And as much as I like It Came From the Sky, it's kind of long and doesn't describe any of the actual services. I have finally decided on Waxing Moon Marketing. It's not too descriptive, but it's short and easy to remember and the word "marketing" encompasses all of the tasks that I offer.
While I REALLY want the tagline "When you don't want your website to suck," it has been pointed out to me (a few times) that if I'm going after larger businesses, that isn't the best avenue to go down. I still think that a company without a sense of humor isn't necessarily one that I want, but I am trying to change things, so I'll go with a more descriptive tagline. It's just a simple "Content, Copywriting and PR."
So, now I need a logo. I'm really going to try not to get carried away.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Motto Ideas
Ok, so I need to organize a new way of doing things, complete with an actual business name and some type of slogan. I've noticed that all of the content sites have a short slogan that is memorable and descriptive. I'm starting with slogan ideas first before I start thinking about a business name. Here's what a have so far:
Business X- When You Don't Want Your Website to Suck
Incompetent? Insufferable? I'll Write For You Anyway
Need Content? I Need Cash. Win-Win!
Content That Won't Get You Arrested
If You Need Content, I'll Put Up With You
Turning Your Site's Crap Into Gold
I just can't choose from among them. And don't even get me started on the logos...
Business X- When You Don't Want Your Website to Suck
Incompetent? Insufferable? I'll Write For You Anyway
Need Content? I Need Cash. Win-Win!
Content That Won't Get You Arrested
If You Need Content, I'll Put Up With You
Turning Your Site's Crap Into Gold
I just can't choose from among them. And don't even get me started on the logos...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Coming Back and Letting Go
I got back from out annual trek to Disney World a few days ago. It's an easy vacation that's appropriate for everyone, so we go. I hate it, but we go. So, I guess I mean it's appropriate to everyone but me, so we go. Personally, I hate crowds, I want to go up to people in tube tops and ask them why, and occasionally I get into a fight with people flashing cameras in my face, but I go. Where do you even get tube tops? I didn't even know they still sold them, but apparently there is a big supply of tube tops out there that are highly sought after by people who start getting dressed and then think, eh, screw it, I'll just do this.
So anyway, I actually went away for over a week and DID NOT TAKE A COMPUTER. That's the first time in at least seven years that I've done that. I went to a lot of trouble to notify every possible person who needed to know that I would be gone, got someone to take care of some of the things that couldn't wait and took care of everything else in advance. Over a week with no computer, no writing and no business. It gave me perspective, just as I'd hoped.
It's time to let go of some things in order to regroup and re-engage. I've been holding onto anonymity and staying in the shadows of the projects I do out of fear that I suck. I've been taking on work from people who have nice, solid content businesses and have been happy doing it. Meanwhile, my writing site doesn't even have my name on it. It's time to suck it up and create a real website that has an actual business name on it. It's time to let go of invisibility and stop relying on work that other people have the guts to go out and get. I need to go out there and get it myself.
It's time to let go of some of the anger that I have toward a certain party who needs an ass kicking. Oh, I still intend to kick his ass, but I can plan for that and work toward that without holding onto the anger. I'm coming for you, sweetie. Don't forget it.
It's time to let go of some of the crap that I do to stay out of the limelight and away from notice. I think I've stayed overweight for a long time just to have an excuse not to participate in things and to be invisible. I'm letting go of it, letting go of carbs and comfort foods. I've lost 22 pounds and there are still more to let go of.
I think letting go of old things is just as important a step as embracing new things, or maybe it's the same thing. Letting go of invisibility and complacence is embracing a new perspective. Maybe by letting go of that comfortable complacency I'll actually reach out for something better and start feeling like I don't suck as badly as I've always suspected. Maybe? Maybe.
I'd like to challenge anyone reading this (if anyone actually does) to find something they're complacent about and let go of that comfort zone. Stomp it down and try to grab something better. Even if it's just a tube top- let go of it and put on an actual shirt today.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Web Writing and Business Ethics
Apparently, a lot of people consider it fine to have no ethics and to consider anything that makes them money to be ok simply because it makes them money. I'm hearing this sentiment a lot more lately, and it's kind of disturbing. I'm actually doing pretty well now in PR, Web writing and my niche sites. But, I don't consider bending my ethics as a way to get there. I don't care how fashionable it is to leave ethics behind, I never will.
I'm doing a major business revamp at the end of this month (which I'll get into soon), but I'm not leaving my standards behind. Here's a few things that stick in my mind:
If you ghostwrite, don't, as Wil Wheaton says, be a dick. Don't broadcast that you've ghostwritten someone's work if they haven't given you permission to do so. I see that sometimes and I just find it disturbing. If you sell the rights, then you sell the rights. No one needs to be outed as having outsourced the work that they put their names on.
Don't write people's schoolwork. I don't care how much it pays- don't do it. Seriously. I keep hearing Web writers go on about how convenient it is to write papers for college students through one of those "academic papers" websites. It's unethical, it's sleazy, don't do it.
I won't write about scams. I don't care what you want to pay, I don't care how super special you think your scam is (believe me, some of these people are hyperdelusional), I'm not going to help anyone scam anyone else. Your "diet supplements" and "male enhancements" are crap, and no one wants to sell your timeshares or seminars. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Pay people that you outsource to. For God's sake, don't ever make a writer beg for their pay. I've outsourced twice and likely won't ever do it again, but I paid on time and paid extra to offset the PayPal fees. Every week I hear about Web writers who have outsourced and then can't or won't pay the writer. If you do that, you suck. There's no way around it.
Oh, and if your business is run in an unethical manner and may have happened to fold today, you might regret having told me that "anyone off the street could do your job" when my job was highly skilled, hyper-tense technical writing. You might wonder why your business folded. It folded because you are idiots. You didn't recognize the few talented people that you had and instead rewarded very unintelligent people with over-paid positions that did nothing for the company. I'm glad that I bailed, and I'm glad that you're gone.
And lastly, check out this drumming:
Seriously. The hotness of Sting often obscures the talent of the other two, but that drumming is phenomenal.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Avoiding Work
When there's a lot of work piling up, pretty much anything else seems super entertaining.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
That's My Name There
The first time I ever had a byline was in the local newspaper, The Huntsville Times. It's actually a fairly prestigious paper in the Southeast, and I wrote an entire blurb of my own in order to get that byline. I was a teenager doing an internship at the newspaper, and I was unsure whether I was even going to get a byline for the ridiculous thing that I did. It was the 90's and I wore rayon all the time because it flowed and I thought it made me look thinner. After spending days in the library and the courthouse with various reporters, I put on a pair of black rayon pants with HUGE white polka dots and a blue rayon shirt that didn't match but that flowed. I looked like a low-rent clown with acne and big hair.
So, instead of going to the courthouse to go through records, I was told that I was going to a meet-and-greet with the prince of Belgium. No lie. The prince was super hot and single and gave a short speech, after which he shook my hand. I then shook the hand of the Belgian ambassador of the United States and had zero answer when he asked me who I was. But, I had furiously taken notes throughout the whole affair and was able to put together an entire article. The result was a weird clown with her first actual byline.
Since then I have had hundreds of newspaper articles published, most with bylines. I even had columns in two different papers, complete with my gross picture, big hair and all. It ceased to be a big deal. I stopped caring much whether my name was on something. My happiness was seeing what I had done and knowing that it was awesome.
Enter Web writing. I hate having my name on anything. The only sites that I have my name on are ones that expressly require that your actual name has to be on the articles. I hate that and wish I never had to use my actual name on anything. That's been my reality for the last three or four years, ducking bylines and trying to enjoy a few things that I've done without anyone actually reading it or knowing that I did it.
Again, that is changing. I'm writing a print book and got my first check from the publisher this week. It's an actual payment from an actual publisher, and it is changing a lot of things for me. Every time I send something in to my editor I expect her to send it back with SCREAMING ALL CAPS!!!!! telling me how much it sucks. Apparently, it doesn't. It's tough, it's hard work and I've thought seriously about throwing in the towel, but I really, really want to see my name on a print book. The contract is terrible and the pay is low, but that will be my name right there when people pick up the book. If it sucks, they will know who sucks. I will not hide and I will not pretend that it was all just some crap that I threw together and didn't put any effort into. I tried at something. I put myself into it and it's going to be out there. With my name. For anyone to see.
It's scary.
So, instead of going to the courthouse to go through records, I was told that I was going to a meet-and-greet with the prince of Belgium. No lie. The prince was super hot and single and gave a short speech, after which he shook my hand. I then shook the hand of the Belgian ambassador of the United States and had zero answer when he asked me who I was. But, I had furiously taken notes throughout the whole affair and was able to put together an entire article. The result was a weird clown with her first actual byline.
Since then I have had hundreds of newspaper articles published, most with bylines. I even had columns in two different papers, complete with my gross picture, big hair and all. It ceased to be a big deal. I stopped caring much whether my name was on something. My happiness was seeing what I had done and knowing that it was awesome.
Enter Web writing. I hate having my name on anything. The only sites that I have my name on are ones that expressly require that your actual name has to be on the articles. I hate that and wish I never had to use my actual name on anything. That's been my reality for the last three or four years, ducking bylines and trying to enjoy a few things that I've done without anyone actually reading it or knowing that I did it.
Again, that is changing. I'm writing a print book and got my first check from the publisher this week. It's an actual payment from an actual publisher, and it is changing a lot of things for me. Every time I send something in to my editor I expect her to send it back with SCREAMING ALL CAPS!!!!! telling me how much it sucks. Apparently, it doesn't. It's tough, it's hard work and I've thought seriously about throwing in the towel, but I really, really want to see my name on a print book. The contract is terrible and the pay is low, but that will be my name right there when people pick up the book. If it sucks, they will know who sucks. I will not hide and I will not pretend that it was all just some crap that I threw together and didn't put any effort into. I tried at something. I put myself into it and it's going to be out there. With my name. For anyone to see.
It's scary.
Monday, April 5, 2010
No. I Am Not on Facebook.
Am I on Facebook? No, I am not. Aren't I on Facebook? I aren't. Have I signed up for Facebook yet? No. Do I have Facebook? I don't think so. I can be found through Facebook, right? Not really.
These are actual questions that I have been asked in the past month. I am not on Facebook, just in case there is any doubt. I suppose I do "have" Facebook, since it's there and it's available if you want it, but I don't.
But how, you may ask, can I be found on Facebook? The answer is pretty simple- I can't.
Twitter lured me in. Wil Wheaton and William Shatner are there. What can you do when you face those odds? You just have to get sucked in and hope your screaming soul isn't viciously and painfully eaten. But Facebook? I will prevail. I don't care how many times I am asked. I don't care what kind of names I am called. I don't mind being ostracized and having to move to my own island where the non-Facebook people have to go to live in shame.
I can't come up with any more excuses though, when one of the real excuses is just pathetic. I don't like pictures of myself and I don't want to make excuses about why there are no pictures. Yes, it's true that I hate trends that are so big that people DEMAND that you join in on them. Yes, there is a point at which something is so big and pervasive that not belonging just feels right. And yes, I do worry about privacy and my potty mouth being found by people who already disapprove of me because my hair is weird and I'm overweight.
But mostly, I don't give a rat's *ss. I don't want to talk to anyone I went to high school with (with two exceptions, and they are awesome). I don't care about what people I went to elementary school with are doing. People I dated long ago can suck it. Anyone else that I've come into contact with that needs to talk to me can pick up a phone.
But, you have to have Facebook to promote your work. Really? So, when people want to read some informational article or bad vampire novel they go to Facebook to find it? They search through Facebook for writing blogs, how-to articles and rude articles about celebrities? I don't think they do.
If the site is fun, then great. Some people report playing games there, but there are games available elsewhere. Mostly what I hear is about people posting their moods and "status." I don't want anyone knowing either one. I don't know that I even know either one.
These are actual questions that I have been asked in the past month. I am not on Facebook, just in case there is any doubt. I suppose I do "have" Facebook, since it's there and it's available if you want it, but I don't.
But how, you may ask, can I be found on Facebook? The answer is pretty simple- I can't.
Twitter lured me in. Wil Wheaton and William Shatner are there. What can you do when you face those odds? You just have to get sucked in and hope your screaming soul isn't viciously and painfully eaten. But Facebook? I will prevail. I don't care how many times I am asked. I don't care what kind of names I am called. I don't mind being ostracized and having to move to my own island where the non-Facebook people have to go to live in shame.
I can't come up with any more excuses though, when one of the real excuses is just pathetic. I don't like pictures of myself and I don't want to make excuses about why there are no pictures. Yes, it's true that I hate trends that are so big that people DEMAND that you join in on them. Yes, there is a point at which something is so big and pervasive that not belonging just feels right. And yes, I do worry about privacy and my potty mouth being found by people who already disapprove of me because my hair is weird and I'm overweight.
But mostly, I don't give a rat's *ss. I don't want to talk to anyone I went to high school with (with two exceptions, and they are awesome). I don't care about what people I went to elementary school with are doing. People I dated long ago can suck it. Anyone else that I've come into contact with that needs to talk to me can pick up a phone.
But, you have to have Facebook to promote your work. Really? So, when people want to read some informational article or bad vampire novel they go to Facebook to find it? They search through Facebook for writing blogs, how-to articles and rude articles about celebrities? I don't think they do.
If the site is fun, then great. Some people report playing games there, but there are games available elsewhere. Mostly what I hear is about people posting their moods and "status." I don't want anyone knowing either one. I don't know that I even know either one.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
What You Mean to Write When You Write and What You Actually Write
Anytime I try to take on some fiction endeavor, such as my new, cheesy vampire novel that will test the waters of the many online publishers that I write about, the words tend to come off just a little different than they were supposed to. That's been going on with my fiction for longer than I'll admit to, and I'm hoping that it isn't just me.
Here's what I want to say:
Cheesy Vampire is interesting, and is so captivating that Character is drawn into the world of cheesy, small-town vampires.
What the words actually convey:
Cheesy Vampire walks around, talks a little and buys toast.
What I want to say:
Cheesy Vampire is super dangerous and could kick you through a brick wall just for asking him whether he's on Facebook.
What the words actually convey:
Cheesy Vampire says a few menacing things and continues walking around.
What I want to say:
Cheesy Vampire and Assorted Characters are worthy of being published by an online publisher so that I can see how well that does and decide whether it's worth the time to create more cheesy work to make some money to buy a super-rad backyard pond.
What the words actually convey:
Holy crap, another vampire novel. This one isn't Twilight-like. It must be destroyed. Get the flamethrower. The one on the wall! Now! Now!
Foiled yet again.
Here's what I want to say:
Cheesy Vampire is interesting, and is so captivating that Character is drawn into the world of cheesy, small-town vampires.
What the words actually convey:
Cheesy Vampire walks around, talks a little and buys toast.
What I want to say:
Cheesy Vampire is super dangerous and could kick you through a brick wall just for asking him whether he's on Facebook.
What the words actually convey:
Cheesy Vampire says a few menacing things and continues walking around.
What I want to say:
Cheesy Vampire and Assorted Characters are worthy of being published by an online publisher so that I can see how well that does and decide whether it's worth the time to create more cheesy work to make some money to buy a super-rad backyard pond.
What the words actually convey:
Holy crap, another vampire novel. This one isn't Twilight-like. It must be destroyed. Get the flamethrower. The one on the wall! Now! Now!
Foiled yet again.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Editors and Editors
I always feel like I am strugling to say something, something that I am not quite saying. No words seem exactly right. When you add editors into the equation, it becomes even worse. I have been through periods when I thought that editors were just frustrated writers who hated people who could actually write. Then there have been periods when I have been glad that they were watching out for my interests and making sure that the typos are gone. But most of the time, I have questioned why they exist and how I could avoid them.
I have one editor that I adore (Suite101's fair Julie), one editor that I hate (I'll never tell!), and many editors that I tolerate as long as they are helpful and not a hindrance to what I am trying to do. It seems as if many of them feel they are above writers, as if they are the watchdogs of writers or somehow babysitters that make sure we aren't inciting riots. Many times I end up having to train them because they seem to have no idea what they are doing. It's annoying and insulting to end up with an editor who thinks she is your boss when she is really just a low-paid proofreader. I actually do have a fairly prestigious editing job, so I know how it feels to see other people's mistakes and wonder why they don't see them. I still don't feel superior, though, so maybe I'm not properly embroiled in editor culture.
Sometimes I wonder how necessary it is to have so many editors out there. Then, I witnessed something that needed an editor so badly that non-writers were telling me how badly the item in question needed to be edited. It wasn't just me. Homegirl needed an editor in the worst possible way. Being a witness to this taught me two things: I don't suck as much as I thought, and an editor is really just a person who comes between what you want to say and what an audience wants to hear. That is actually a great thing to do- to carve an audience-specific work out of one that is just an expression of the authors creativity.
Editing is an important step that is noticed mostly in its absence. If something isn't edited well, it look naked and revealed. If it is, the writer's idea comes across without anything getting in its way. Judging from what I witnessed last week, more people should consider professional editing to avoid people wondering afterward what in the world went wrong.
I have one editor that I adore (Suite101's fair Julie), one editor that I hate (I'll never tell!), and many editors that I tolerate as long as they are helpful and not a hindrance to what I am trying to do. It seems as if many of them feel they are above writers, as if they are the watchdogs of writers or somehow babysitters that make sure we aren't inciting riots. Many times I end up having to train them because they seem to have no idea what they are doing. It's annoying and insulting to end up with an editor who thinks she is your boss when she is really just a low-paid proofreader. I actually do have a fairly prestigious editing job, so I know how it feels to see other people's mistakes and wonder why they don't see them. I still don't feel superior, though, so maybe I'm not properly embroiled in editor culture.
Sometimes I wonder how necessary it is to have so many editors out there. Then, I witnessed something that needed an editor so badly that non-writers were telling me how badly the item in question needed to be edited. It wasn't just me. Homegirl needed an editor in the worst possible way. Being a witness to this taught me two things: I don't suck as much as I thought, and an editor is really just a person who comes between what you want to say and what an audience wants to hear. That is actually a great thing to do- to carve an audience-specific work out of one that is just an expression of the authors creativity.
Editing is an important step that is noticed mostly in its absence. If something isn't edited well, it look naked and revealed. If it is, the writer's idea comes across without anything getting in its way. Judging from what I witnessed last week, more people should consider professional editing to avoid people wondering afterward what in the world went wrong.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
How Not to Make Money From Your Blog
I write SEO stuff to generate profits, ebooks with SEO'd titles and descriptions to generate profits and I ghostwrite blogs that are created to earn a profit for the owners. This blog, however, is not one of those. I make almost nothing from it, and I don't care that much whether I do. Out of all the work I do, I want just one space that is not devoted to generating a profit. It's just a spot to say what I want to say without having to count keywords or look up CPC rates. So, here's how to avoid making money from your blog:
Don't bother to SEO anything. Write whatever you want and write cryptic titles that no one will ever search for. Don't worry about the CPC rates for any of the words you do use.
Throw up any ads you want without any concern about their placement. From what I've read, ads that are placed on the right side of a blog tend to do get more clicks, generating more earnings, but ignore that. Do whatever you think looks less tacky.
Don't bother to sell your own advertising. Rely on Google and Chitika to supply your advertising and never solicit for advertising in order to keep all of the ad earnings for yourself.
If you do bother to put in affiliate links here and there, don't worry about talking about them or trying to market them at all. Just throw them in there randomly and hope someone will click on them and earn a commission for you. No one will.
Don't promote your blog. If you do leave comments on other blogs and put your own blog name in the Web address thingy, make sure the comments are weird and possibly obnoxious so that no one will want to look at your blog.
Put in pictures only when you feel like it, and don't worry if they necessarily relate to what you're writing about.
Create a blog abut a topic that a million other people write a blog about, ensuring that yours gets very little attention. Don't network with any of the other people who write blogs about the same topic in order to get guest blogging gigs or blogroll links. Figure that if you deserve links, they will find you.
Keep the focus of your blog scattered between the stated topic and anything else that you think is interesting. Irritate most of your readers by talking about how much you hate cell phones.
Occasionally drink too much and try to write a blog post which then has to be deleted because it doesn't make any sense the next day.
What results can you expect if you follow this plan? Well, I don't want to brag, but so far this month I have made about $2 from this blog. I'm gonna buy me a big 'ole Moon Pie.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
The Elusive Day Off
When you freelance full time, an entire day off is a pretty rare occurrence. I've been thinking all week that I really want one day off this weekend. That means not working all day- not working small amounts here and there or working away from the computer instead of on it. I want an actual day in which no work is done.
I thought that Saturday would be a good day to take off. Most of my work for the week is done, and the things I have to do over the weekend are mostly tying up loose ends and emailing colleagues about work that was done. So, there's about an hour of work right there. Then I remembered a page that I haven't finished yet that should be finished before the end of the week. So there's another hour that needs to be done. And once that is done, I should await feedback to make sure that the client is happy. So, I could work two or three hours and have the rest of the day free, or have free time all day knowing that I have hours of work hanging over my head for that night.
Ok, so Saturday is out. Maybe Sunday I could have an actual day off. I could finish everything on Saturday that should be completed this week. Then I could make sure to check mail late at night so that I don't wonder the next day whether I've missed some important communication. Of course, then on Sunday there may be clients trying to contact me. And what if my careful scheduling left something out that I should have done?
Ok, so I could check my email late at night, then check it in the morning to make sure no one is trying to contact me. Then, I could check it every couple of hours in case there was anything I missed so that anything lacking could be completed before the end of the day. Maybe I should set aside some time on Sunday to complete anything that might come up for me to do. And then, in between email checks and that set-aside working time, I would have my completely free day.
It sounds so relaxing.
I thought that Saturday would be a good day to take off. Most of my work for the week is done, and the things I have to do over the weekend are mostly tying up loose ends and emailing colleagues about work that was done. So, there's about an hour of work right there. Then I remembered a page that I haven't finished yet that should be finished before the end of the week. So there's another hour that needs to be done. And once that is done, I should await feedback to make sure that the client is happy. So, I could work two or three hours and have the rest of the day free, or have free time all day knowing that I have hours of work hanging over my head for that night.
Ok, so Saturday is out. Maybe Sunday I could have an actual day off. I could finish everything on Saturday that should be completed this week. Then I could make sure to check mail late at night so that I don't wonder the next day whether I've missed some important communication. Of course, then on Sunday there may be clients trying to contact me. And what if my careful scheduling left something out that I should have done?
Ok, so I could check my email late at night, then check it in the morning to make sure no one is trying to contact me. Then, I could check it every couple of hours in case there was anything I missed so that anything lacking could be completed before the end of the day. Maybe I should set aside some time on Sunday to complete anything that might come up for me to do. And then, in between email checks and that set-aside working time, I would have my completely free day.
It sounds so relaxing.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
What to Write?
That's the big question, isn't it? What indeed. I know what I like to write, and I know what kind of books I like reading. Unfortunately, those aren't the easiest kind of books to sell. Agents usually have no interest in hearing about them and publishers only want to hear about books being represented by agents. So, here's how it breaks down:
You need an agent. So, you must write something that is easily publishable. That means a genre that is popular and profitable. In the U.S. and Europe, that means either creative non-fiction or romance novels.
Which to choose? Creative non-fiction is tough to break into, especially if you don't have a recognizable name and/or a Ph.D. Romance is the one genre that new book writers are most likely to get into. The genre makes up about half of the paperback book market, and you don't need an agent to break into it. So, romance novel it is.
Uh, oh- they suck. And detour- you don't know how to write one. So, you have to read a few to figure out how to do this.
Problem- they're boring and there are so many different sub-genres that even if you could think up a boring story, you have to make it fit into one of those sub-genres. Many of the sub-genres are bizarre, like medieval Scottish lord stories and NASCAR romance. Those are seriously both sub-genres.
So, you take a look at what is actually being published. That's what every book tells you to do, so you do it every so often to get a feel for what's being released. You know what's being released? Vampire romance books. Every major print publisher and every major ebook publisher is being dominated by them. If you want in, you have to have a damn vampire in there somewhere.
So, what do you get? You get Twilight, that's what you get. You get this instead of this. It's not even this (which is now available in two languages). It's more like this. Foiled! I think I'll mostly stick to my own creative projects for now, even if they don't sell.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Demand Opening to U.K. and Canadian Writers
If you're pretty happy with your writing and feel like you've struck a balance between what is good and what is salable, you now have the opportunity to throw that away and start writing for Demand Studios instead. I know there are a lot of people who live in the U.K. or Canada and have felt that their options are limited because a lot of the U.S. content companies weren't open to them.
Well, now you too can write soulless articles that will be mangled by editors who talk to you like you're garbage. Hooray! The pay is actually pretty good, especially if you're coming from a journalism background. It's also extremely flexible. If you've read about writing for Demand Media before from people who say it takes hours and hours to write an article and you have to interview people and you get paid .01 an hour, that's all crap.
It's Web writing. It takes about 20 to 40 minutes, depending on the topic and the format. And, it's not all for eHow. They supply content to a lot of different sites and have varying pay available for different projects. If you are a competent Web writer, understand Web formatting and how to write and organize quickly, you can make a decent amount of money with them. Some people unfortunately have categorized this work as journalism that is extremely low paying. It isn't. The only thing it has in common with journalism is the speed. If you take 20 hours to write a badly researched article, as the fellow in the link did, you're not up to the task. And if you're not up to the task, there's a world of hurt coming.
Here's what gets me, though. As a journalist who was trained to double check facts, to keep my opinions out of it, etc., both of the articles above simply don't cut it. If I had turned in anything like those two articles, complete with inaccuracies (both claim $15 to $20 an article, which is wrong), they would have been thrown back at me. Literally so, in one case. I actually Twittered the writer of the first one to tell him that Demand wouldn't have accepted that article from him. And you know what? It's true. Somehow, such shoddy work has resulted in a few highly-paid writers who think they can never be replaced. I don't really understand the world we live in sometimes, but I do know this- if you want to write for a living, get with the program. If you can't write for the Web, you're going to have a tough road ahead. I see a lot of writers who look down at Web writers and simultaneously declare that you can't make a full-time living by writing. You can.
Here's what you need:
Diversity- Keep several companies on tap and write for each so that no one company going under means the end of your job.
Skill- You need to be able to organize your thoughts quickly and write your item clearly and correctly the first time.
Reasonable Expectations- I see a lot of writers who want to get into Web writing and expect $100 or so per article. This isn't print. I have gotten that before, but it isn't reasonable to expect it most of the time. There are people out there who spend weeks looking for high-paying work because anything else is beneath them. Those people have day jobs. Don't price yourself out of the market and your job will always be there.
Am I a crappy writer because I work for market prices and don't assume that I can't be replaced by someone else if I don't? No. I'm a crappy writer for a number of other reasons. But, I don't apologize for taking on full-time work even if it isn't work that makes me feel super important. If you want to work for Demand, then work for Demand. You can make a lot more an hour than you can working for a newspaper, and there are a few perks here and there. New York Times writers may look down on it, but when those reporters are out of a job like the rest of us and can't get hired by Demand, they may have wished they'd kept these three principles in mind and moved with the industry instead of assuming that they can't and won't be replaced.
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