Sunday, March 21, 2010

How Not to Make Money From Your Blog


I write SEO stuff to generate profits, ebooks with SEO'd titles and descriptions to generate profits and I ghostwrite blogs that are created to earn a profit for the owners. This blog, however, is not one of those. I make almost nothing from it, and I don't care that much whether I do. Out of all the work I do, I want just one space that is not devoted to generating a profit. It's just a spot to say what I want to say without having to count keywords or look up CPC rates. So, here's how to avoid making money from your blog:

Don't bother to SEO anything. Write whatever you want and write cryptic titles that no one will ever search for. Don't worry about the CPC rates for any of the words you do use.

Throw up any ads you want without any concern about their placement. From what I've read, ads that are placed on the right side of a blog tend to do get more clicks, generating more earnings, but ignore that. Do whatever you think looks less tacky.

Don't bother to sell your own advertising. Rely on Google and Chitika to supply your advertising and never solicit for advertising in order to keep all of the ad earnings for yourself.

If you do bother to put in affiliate links here and there, don't worry about talking about them or trying to market them at all. Just throw them in there randomly and hope someone will click on them and earn a commission for you. No one will.

Don't promote your blog. If you do leave comments on other blogs and put your own blog name in the Web address thingy, make sure the comments are weird and possibly obnoxious so that no one will want to look at your blog.

Put in pictures only when you feel like it, and don't worry if they necessarily relate to what you're writing about.

Create a blog abut a topic that a million other people write a blog about, ensuring that yours gets very little attention. Don't network with any of the other people who write blogs about the same topic in order to get guest blogging gigs or blogroll links. Figure that if you deserve links, they will find you.

Keep the focus of your blog scattered between the stated topic and anything else that you think is interesting. Irritate most of your readers by talking about how much you hate cell phones.

Occasionally drink too much and try to write a blog post which then has to be deleted because it doesn't make any sense the next day.

What results can you expect if you follow this plan? Well, I don't want to brag, but so far this month I have made about $2 from this blog. I'm gonna buy me a big 'ole Moon Pie.

8 comments:

Ann Elle Altman said...

THis is really good. I think I've implemented them all.

ann

Adam said...

Very funny stuff. I especially love the "drink too much and try to write a blog post" line. I have yet to fall into that embarrassing pit, but I have been known to let loose in a drunken rant on more than one occasion; usually at some of my favorite forum sites. It's always funny to read the replies the next day, and you can edit your post but somebody already knew that you'd try that and swiftly replied to it with a full quote. LOL

L. Shepherd said...

Ah...drunken forum posting. That's a fun activity. Drunk Twittering will probably be my downfall, though.

5 Kids With Disabilities said...

Yeh, well, that's $2 more than I made on my, so I'd call you successful!!!!!
Lindsey Petersen

Russell said...

$2 ... Dreams of writing for Triond (so long ago!).

My best,

Russell

8-)

Gayle said...

Good information to not use.

L. Shepherd said...

Glad I could be of no help. ;)

joni said...

YUO SAID: Don't promote your blog. If you do leave comments on other blogs and put your own blog name in the Web address thingy, make sure the comments are weird and possibly obnoxious so that no one will want to look at your blog.

What in the world are you thinking? Not prmoting your blog is like not taking your shoes off and smelling your feet! It just can't be done. Not on this planet.
(kidding)

Love your blog. :)
Knowledge is power! And writing is a healing tool!

Write on my fellow blogger. :)

joni