Sunday, July 13, 2008

Useless Skills Gained From Freelance Writing

There are of course a number of useful and lucrative skills you gain by writing full time. These aren’t those skills:

Word Count Guessing: I can now glance at my page and approximate, within about 20 words, how many words are on the page. I can’t, however, cook rice. Priorities.

Useless Knowledge: Do you know what causes hemorrhoids? I do. I also know the intimate workings of every type of vacuum cleaner known to humans, where to visit if you ever go to Burkina Faso and what to feed your llamas. All of this completely useless knowledge came from various freelancing gigs and all of it is now lodged permanently in my brain.

Solving Other People’s Problems: Thanks to near-constant article writing, I can now solve everyone’s problems, and not just with this. Need a new vacuum? I know the one you need- I wrote articles about them last year. Want plastic surgery? Don't worry, I know what kind you need. Have back pain? I know just how to solve it. Need to go on a diet? Let me tell you about all the latest studies... Going to Trinidad and need to know where the best beaches are? I’ve got it covered.

5 comments:

TZT said...

I relate to this post on absolutely every level! Hilarious! Thanks.

L. Shepherd said...

Thanks!

Courtney - Web Writing Info.com said...

Ha ha!! This post was great. I know more about constipation than I'd ever care to!

L. Shepherd said...

Thanks! Constipation and colon cleansing are super fun topics, aren't they? And they seem so popular right now. There must be some kind of epidemic out there.

Valencia said...

"solving other people's problems" so true! I've often said, "freelance writers are the jack of all trades." We know anything and everything about different subjects