Monday, April 5, 2010

No. I Am Not on Facebook.

Am I on Facebook? No, I am not. Aren't I on Facebook? I aren't. Have I signed up for Facebook yet? No. Do I have Facebook? I don't think so. I can be found through Facebook, right? Not really.

These are actual questions that I have been asked in the past month. I am not on Facebook, just in case there is any doubt. I suppose I do "have" Facebook, since it's there and it's available if you want it, but I don't.

But how, you may ask, can I be found on Facebook? The answer is pretty simple- I can't.

Twitter lured me in. Wil Wheaton and William Shatner are there. What can you do when you face those odds? You just have to get sucked in and hope your screaming soul isn't viciously and painfully eaten. But Facebook? I will prevail. I don't care how many times I am asked. I don't care what kind of names I am called. I don't mind being ostracized and having to move to my own island where the non-Facebook people have to go to live in shame.

I can't come up with any more excuses though, when one of the real excuses is just pathetic. I don't like pictures of myself and I don't want to make excuses about why there are no pictures. Yes, it's true that I hate trends that are so big that people DEMAND that you join in on them. Yes, there is a point at which something is so big and pervasive that not belonging just feels right. And yes, I do worry about privacy and my potty mouth being found by people who already disapprove of me because my hair is weird and I'm overweight.

But mostly, I don't give a rat's *ss. I don't want to talk to anyone I went to high school with (with two exceptions, and they are awesome). I don't care about what people I went to elementary school with are doing. People I dated long ago can suck it. Anyone else that I've come into contact with that needs to talk to me can pick up a phone.

But, you have to have Facebook to promote your work. Really? So, when people want to read some informational article or bad vampire novel they go to Facebook to find it? They search through Facebook for writing blogs, how-to articles and rude articles about celebrities? I don't think they do.

If the site is fun, then great. Some people report playing games there, but there are games available elsewhere. Mostly what I hear is about people posting their moods and "status." I don't want anyone knowing either one. I don't know that I even know either one.

19 comments:

Morgan said...

I'm on Facebook; I like it, even if I am fat and have weird hair. It's a quick and easy way to keep in touch with people while being as active or passive about it as you'd like to be. Picking up a phone isn't the most practical solution with busy people living in different time zones. Checking in once a day at your leisure is easy.

But then again, I also love my iPhone :)

L. Shepherd said...

I'm as busy as a person can get and have screaming offspring in the background, but I still find the phone to be pretty easy. Email is pretty easy as well. I don't see the need to know what everyone you know is doing every day. It's weird and unnatural.

L. Shepherd said...

And, your hair kicks ass.

Morgan said...

It's hard to maintain friendships when you don't talk to people for weeks or months at a time. Facebook allows people to maintain contact with each other and keep up with their lives. Even if you're not talking all the time there's still a feeling of being connected.

Facebook is just fun. Email is good, phone calls are nice, but texting is my preferred means of direct communication right now. It's more immediate than email but requires less time and attention than phone calls. It's the perfect happy medium for me.

And thanks :) I'd compliment you back but I NEVER see pictures of you!!! :)

L. Shepherd said...

I've never sent a text message before. I really don't get the point of those either. If you have a thingy with Internet on it, I figure an email must be just as fast.

If you had seen a picture, you probably wouldn't feel moved to compliment. You'd probably be inspired to pick up a pitchfork and light a torch.

Morgan said...

Send me your number, we can continue this discussion via text :)

Morgan said...

Send me your number, we can continue this discussion via text :)

shekira said...

BUT you could set up a fanpage - have your blog RSS feed connect to it and just leave it. Then you'd literally never have to touch it.

Oh, but you would need a profile to create it. Shit.

unityoak said...

I recently posted about social networking. We have some of the same views. Peace

Shabby Horse said...

Whooo Hoooo! I'm not on facebook and I don't give 2 sh*ts about it. It's a waste of time. But it's true...everyone is doing it. Not me. Later!

L. Shepherd said...

Wow, nice to see a few people who have resisted the peer pressure to join Facebook. I feel an after school special coming on...

A Sane Person said...

I am also not on Facebook. One reason is that I don't like the fact that it's a corporation that views its members as opportunities for making profit (read this for explanation: http://www.micahmwhite.com/writer/commit-facebook-suicide.php), but the other and more important one is that people think staying in touch through Facebook is a good enough way of maintaining a friendship. They post comments on your status, photos, links etc every so often, but because you get to communicate in that way through Facebook, you're less encouraged to actually dedicate time to spend *with* each other. And I already spend so much time on my computer - for work, for reading the news, for watching various tv shows etc - and I don't want it to take over my social life as well...

Russell said...

hi LS,

@nwsheffield would love to connect with you on Twitter!

(Russell)

L. Shepherd said...

You're being followed.. mwaa haa haa haa...

Russell said...

... I got the bunny if you have the pan ...

{:¬O....

L. Shepherd said...

As long as you don't have a bathtub...

Fujoshicat said...

I'm not on Facebook either - the privacy concerns, wasting time concerns, "everyone's doing it, so you must as well" aspect... not for me. ;)

Moe said...

I have Facebook. You're not missing anything. It's filled with annoying apps and endless invites to silly things that are nothing but time wasters. Now twitter, I love twitter. Nice, clean, easy to use without a lot of extra crap.

L. Shepherd said...

Twitter's not bad. I was scared that it would be a huge time sucker, but it hasn't bee bad at all. It's quick and pretty fun to use.