Anytime I try to take on some fiction endeavor, such as my new, cheesy vampire novel that will test the waters of the many online publishers that I write about, the words tend to come off just a little different than they were supposed to. That's been going on with my fiction for longer than I'll admit to, and I'm hoping that it isn't just me.
Here's what I want to say:
Cheesy Vampire is interesting, and is so captivating that Character is drawn into the world of cheesy, small-town vampires.
What the words actually convey:
Cheesy Vampire walks around, talks a little and buys toast.
What I want to say:
Cheesy Vampire is super dangerous and could kick you through a brick wall just for asking him whether he's on Facebook.
What the words actually convey:
Cheesy Vampire says a few menacing things and continues walking around.
What I want to say:
Cheesy Vampire and Assorted Characters are worthy of being published by an online publisher so that I can see how well that does and decide whether it's worth the time to create more cheesy work to make some money to buy a super-rad backyard pond.
What the words actually convey:
Holy crap, another vampire novel. This one isn't Twilight-like. It must be destroyed. Get the flamethrower. The one on the wall! Now! Now!
Foiled yet again.
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