Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Coming Back and Letting Go

I got back from out annual trek to Disney World a few days ago. It's an easy vacation that's appropriate for everyone, so we go. I hate it, but we go. So, I guess I mean it's appropriate to everyone but me, so we go. Personally, I hate crowds, I want to go up to people in tube tops and ask them why, and occasionally I get into a fight with people flashing cameras in my face, but I go. Where do you even get tube tops? I didn't even know they still sold them, but apparently there is a big supply of tube tops out there that are highly sought after by people who start getting dressed and then think, eh, screw it, I'll just do this.

So anyway, I actually went away for over a week and DID NOT TAKE A COMPUTER. That's the first time in at least seven years that I've done that. I went to a lot of trouble to notify every possible person who needed to know that I would be gone, got someone to take care of some of the things that couldn't wait and took care of everything else in advance. Over a week with no computer, no writing and no business. It gave me perspective, just as I'd hoped.

It's time to let go of some things in order to regroup and re-engage. I've been holding onto anonymity and staying in the shadows of the projects I do out of fear that I suck. I've been taking on work from people who have nice, solid content businesses and have been happy doing it. Meanwhile, my writing site doesn't even have my name on it. It's time to suck it up and create a real website that has an actual business name on it. It's time to let go of invisibility and stop relying on work that other people have the guts to go out and get. I need to go out there and get it myself.

It's time to let go of some of the anger that I have toward a certain party who needs an ass kicking. Oh, I still intend to kick his ass, but I can plan for that and work toward that without holding onto the anger. I'm coming for you, sweetie. Don't forget it.

It's time to let go of some of the crap that I do to stay out of the limelight and away from notice. I think I've stayed overweight for a long time just to have an excuse not to participate in things and to be invisible. I'm letting go of it, letting go of carbs and comfort foods. I've lost 22 pounds and there are still more to let go of.

I think letting go of old things is just as important a step as embracing new things, or maybe it's the same thing. Letting go of invisibility and complacence is embracing a new perspective. Maybe by letting go of that comfortable complacency I'll actually reach out for something better and start feeling like I don't suck as badly as I've always suspected. Maybe? Maybe.

I'd like to challenge anyone reading this (if anyone actually does) to find something they're complacent about and let go of that comfort zone. Stomp it down and try to grab something better. Even if it's just a tube top- let go of it and put on an actual shirt today.

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